Poll Results Are In: 64% of New Hampshire Democrats Prefer Apocalyptic Meteor Strike Over Trump Reelection

February 10, 2020

2 min read

A poll by UMass Lowell Center for Public Opinion asked New Hampshire Democrat and independent voters which they preferred: a Donald Trump reelection victory in 2020 or a giant meteor strike that ends all life on planet earth? Shockingly, 64% of Democrats and 49% of independents responded that they prefer apocalypse. 

Lest it is assumed that these were exceptionally ignorant people who did not understand the implications of a life-ending meteor, the poll discovered that 58% of respondents with a four-year degree preferred to see a huge rock descending upon them as long as it meant that Trump did not return to the Oval Office. 66% of the uneducated chose the fiery rock overhead rather than the Republican incumbent.

Women, sometimes misidentified as the gentler gender, chose the meteor 68% of the time as opposed to 53% of men. 49% of people with incomes of $100,000 and up apparently did not think that life was worth living in a Trump-ruled America and 69% of people earning less than $50,000 annually chose to end the world. 

While 54% of people between the ages of 18-44 chose death, 65% of the 45+ crowd prefer to keep on living.

Perhaps the most significant aspect of the poll was that far more liberals (59%) chose a fiery end to mankind than conservatives (28%).

It should be noted that 80% of the respondents considered themselves well-qualified to participate in politics. 92% felt the country was on “the wrong track.”

It is interesting to note that 42% of the same crowd was betting on Joe Biden as the candidate most likely to stave off the meteor strike and defeat Donald Trump, though only 22% said they would vote for him. 23% said they would vote for Bernie Sanders. 

The poll was an online survey of 400 likely primary voters in the final days of January.

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